Returning to Cabo San Lucas - December 2012

From the time I left Cabo San Lucas in April 2012, I  wanted to return.  I made the initial contacts with Casa Hogar Cabo and Los Niños del Capitán and I wanted to go back to work with some projects for the children.  After posting my first blogs, I have been delighted to hear from quite a few people who desired to volunteer while vacationing in Cabo San Lucas and have contacted me through this blog.  I would encourage anyone who has connected with Casa Hogar Cabo or Los Ninos del Capitan through this blog, please email me to share your experiences so other readers traveling to Cabo might be encouraged to do the same.  

It uncomfortable to step into a place of service in a different community and country, but the joy of the experience is immeasurable.  By sharing my experiences with you and giving the details you need to make connections, it is my hope that you will also be able to experience the joy of looking into the face of a child who smiles so big from your hugs and attention.  The joy that I take away from my involvement with the children is indescribable. 

Casa Hogar Cabo – An orphanage for boys age 7 to 18

One of my goals for my trip in December was to teach some brief trauma techniques to a few psychologists who work with traumatized children in Cabo San Lucas in different capacities.  Over the course of my week, I spent three days teaching them how to resolve Post-Traumatic Stress with children using brief therapeutic techniques.  It has been a tremendously satisfying experience to reach beyond culture and language differences and communicate from our hearts.  I was challenged to find a way to teach with fewer words and have been inspired by their desire and passion to help children.  It's great if you have a skill that you can share, but it isn't a requirement.

We did it!  No more nightmares.

With my first visit to Casa Hogar Cabo in April, and the time I spent on this last trip in December of 2012, I have gotten to know how loving and caring the staff is at Casa Hogar Cabo.  From the women who cook for the children, to the director, Chris Mills, the manager Omar Venegas, the psychologist Manuel Zavala, and the rest of the staff, these boys are being guided, cared for, and nurtured from a place of deep love.  It was so much fun to see how the staff has created a big family at Casa Hogar, which is not the case in so many other orphanages.  

I couldn’t help but smile when I watched one of the youngest boys come to Dr. Zavala for attention and how he gathered the child up in his arms, took time to hug him, talk to him and engage in a fatherly teasing way.  In a conversation with Dr. Zavala he explained, “I have only one daughter, but why would I need any more children?  Every boy at Casa Hogar needs a father and they ARE my boys.” 

Casa Hogar Cabo is well established in the community and supported financially through donations and fundraising.  If you would like to assist the orphanage, the one support they do need are people who will scholarship a boy through a private high school, which will insure their success in life.  The costs is about $150 U.S. a month, as the school offers the orphanage a significantly reduced tuition.  Only the boys who do well in school and get the best grades can apply for help to private schooling.  If you would like to help in this capacity or visit the orphanage, contact:

Chris Mills, Director

email:  chris@casahogarcabo.com

Office phone:  624 123-1285

Casa Hogar Cabo

Since my first visit, many improvements have been made:  the bathrooms have been remodeled, the soccer field has been resurfaced, and commerical washing machines have been installed.  Items the boys are always in need of if you desire to drop supplies off are:

white polo shirts for school (age 7-16)

dark slacks for school

backpacks

any type of school supplies such as notebooks, notebook paper, pencils, pens, spiral notebooks, etc. 

Casa Hogar - Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

DreamMissions

Casa Hogar - Cabo San Lucas

Boys' Orphanage (Age 7-16)

Marlene Bennett, LMHC

April 2012

At the end of a dirt road, perched on a small hill in the desert at the southern edge of Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, sits an austere building. The area around the building is desert, sand, and old barbed wire fencing.  It is the home for 32 boys from the ages of 7 to 16.  A dirt and sand field nearby is used for a soccer field.  Most of these boys have been removed from their parents because of extreme abuse and neglect.  They will never see their parents again.  Two of the boys are twin brothers who live here because their mother is not physically able to care for them. 

I met with Chris Mills, the director of the facility, and Omar Venegas, the administrator.  Even though the Mexican Government mandated the boys to live in this facility, the only funding the orphanage receives is from donations.  The land was acquired and the building began in 1990.  It sat partially unfinished for many years before a member of the local Rotary Club club picked the project back up and got the construction started again in 2005.  It was finished in 2007. 

The building consists of a kitchen and dining room, central living area with tables for doing homework, ping pong table and a couple of couches.  The boys are divided between two dormitory sleeping areas with bunk beds, with the young boys in one and the boys older than 12 in the other.  There is a central "closet" area where the community clothing is stored (school pants, white shirts for school, and assortment of casual clothing.  Each boy has two drawers in a dresser that sits between the bunk beds for their personal clothing.  At the end of the building are two small offices for the staff and a locked computer room that is used only with supervision.  The computers are about 1995 vintage.  A few are hooked up to the internet and the others are used for word processing and school work. 

On the day I visited Casa Hogar, most of the boys were in school. About 12 were watching volunteers from town give a musical presentation. 

I explained DreamMissions to both Chris Mills, the director and Omar Venegas, the administrator, and explained how we would like to support the orphanage with donations (supplies and services) from people who would be in the area vacationing.  He was very receptive and also very grateful for any items and scholarship assistance so more boys are able to attend a private school.  Presently, the two boys with the best grades are attending a private school from a supporting organization.  He explained that private school would almost always insure the boys’ success in life.  Regular tuition is $200 u.s. but if $100 is paid for tuition each month, they will match that amount.  Chris was extremely grateful that the  funding of the orphanage has been adequate for most needs.  Of course “adequate” by their standards is much different than how we would view it. 

Two of the local resorts have been sponsoring a program to bring a few of the older boys into each resort once a month where they observe and participate in learning work skills.  If the boys successfully continue with their mentoring, there is a good chance they will be hired by the resort when they are old enough.  Another resource is called the Padrino Program, where volunteer adults connect with the boys in a “godparent” relationship. 

When I asked Chris and Omar about behavior problems they both stated that violent and destructive behaviors were one of their biggest problems.  The boys are in the orphanage because of having gone through severe abuse and/or neglect from parents and there hasn’t been any options to help the boys deal with their intense feelings that get triggered.  Currently, a psychologist has just begun to visit with the boys a few hours a week to get to know them, but there isn’t any help available for trauma therapy.  The staff attempted to get the psychologist to meet with me to talk about trauma therapy but his schedule didn’t accommodate a connection before I left the area.  Hopefully I will be able to return soon and have more time to either teach him some of the skills needed or develop a brief therapy trauma approach.  Without addressing the trauma issues, the boys begin to act out at around 14-years of age.  If behaviors aren’t modified, they are expelled from the orphanage, then the cycle of drugs, abuse, violence and prostitution repeat itself.

There are plans to develop a program to help the boys transition from late teenage years to age 20 or 21.  The director asked for my assistance to peruse a proposal document in the new few weeks to provide feedback.  They hope to get funding to build a separate building to house the older boys on the back of their property, giving them time to transition into adulthood, learn more living skills and acquire vocational skills and education. 

I look forward to developing a continued relationship with the caring and compassionate staff at Casa Hogar in Cabo San Lucas.  If you are planning a trip there, feel free to connect with me if you'd like to take supplies or provide financial assistance. 

Projects that they have coming up are:

remodel bathrooms

acquire and install commercial washing machines

resurface soccer field (original artificial turf is in shreds)

Items needed for supplies:

white polo shirts for school

dark slacks for school

backpacks

any type of school supplies such as notebooks, notebook paper, pencils, pens, spiral notebooks, etc.

new shoes

Both Casa Hogar and Los Ninos del Capitan explained how nothing goes unused.  If they can’t use donated items at their facility, they will pass it along to other places and people who can.  We can make a difference in a child's life.